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A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the
lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow
into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do
that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma
attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood
sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll
bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer,
I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really
low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this
white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."
In Newcastle, England, recently a cat called Ziggy was found to have stolen
things worth more than 1,000 pounds from houses in the neighborhood of its
owner. At first, people reported to the police that they had many things
stolen and Helen Lucarelli, Ziggy's owner, kept finding new things in her
kitchen,. The things were not hers and they included jewelry, underwear,
toys, napkins from a restaurant, watches, rubber gloves, soap, and a hat,.
Ziggy even got back police tape that had been important in a case. Helen had
no idea where these things had come from, so she gave them to local charity
shops. When the whole thing was fond out, Helen said to her friends. "It was
awfully embarrassing when I found so much strange underwear in my kitchen."
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