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[TowerTalk] Putting up a Tower

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Subject: [TowerTalk] Putting up a Tower
From: (Kurszewski Chad-WCK005)
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 1999 08:53:46 -0600
I thought this was a pretty good analogy to putting up a tower
(except for the last line).  I hope you enjoy it.

Chad WE9V

>  The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make
>  it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil
>  things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of
>  every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark."
>  And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the
> ark.
>  "OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints,
>  "I'm your man."
>  "Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have
>  my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"
>  Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall
>  in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard,
>  weeping, and there was no ark.
>  "Noah!" shouted the Lord, "Where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed
> into
>  the ground right beside Noah.
>  "Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were
>  some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's
>  construction, but your plans did not meet their code.  So, I had to hire
>  an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him
>  about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."
>  "My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances
> by
>  building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the
>  city planning board."
>  "Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there
>  was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince
>  the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I
>  needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so
>  no owls."
>  "Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal
> rights
>  group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind."
>  "Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't
>  complete the ark without filing an
>  environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take
>  kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a
>  Supreme Being."
>  "Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I
>  sent them a globe!"
>  "Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal
>  Opportunities Commission over how many
>  minorities I'm supposed to hire."
>  "The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the
>  country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of
>  use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five
>  years."
>  With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched
>  across the sky.

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