We are in no way connected with MAXX-COMM.
PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLICATION
ANNOUNCING: THE IMPROVED WUN-DERR ANTENNA SYSTEM MK2
Wang-Chung Wun, Phd and Herr Professor Doktor Phlim-Fflamm Derr are
pleased to
announce a revolution in amateur radio antennae:
The
"Super-Thunder-Blaster-Magnum-Turbo-Custom-Deluxe-Mini-Magnum-Premium-
Pro-Limited-Elite-Platnium-Titanium-Ultra-Extreme XL-5" Amateur Radio
Antenna MARK 2!"
Features:
NEW!! Static cancelling loop elements. Special selective loop elements
discriminate
wanted signals from unwanted static, even if the static is 20+ dB greater
in strength.
NEW!! Covers DC thru gamma rays absolutely no VSWR per computer model.
Only 3.1416....meters tall. (sounds irrational but it is not)
Can be mounted vertically, horizontally or underground without affecting
performance. Ideal for locations with restrictive zoning.
Handles maximum legal power on all bands. Handles 3KW on channel 19.
"Contestor" option available on special order handles up to 35 MW
(requires
3 meter cyrogenic hardline system, sold separately)
No ground or radials required due to exclusive "Kirk" feed system used
under license from Kobiashi-Maru Industries, LTD.
NEW!! For those old farts who cling to the outmoded physics of Maxwell,
Ohm
and other dead european men, an optional radial kit is available. The
antenna will
perform the same with the radial kit on the earth, under the earth or
elevated. Using
proprietary "nano-nano wavelength" technology used under license from
Mork
Interplanetary Industries, each of the 4 radials is 13 angstroms long yet
performs
as if it were several orders of magnitude longer.
Approved for use by members of the Ohm-Borg Resistance is Futile
Movement.
Contains no Oh-Zone depleting chemicals.
Antenna completely biodegradable, not made from rain forest woods.
Digital compatible.
Furthermore, the Wun-Derr antenna is unconditionally warranted to
withstand
a direct hit by a low-yield thermonuclear device. If the antenna fails
to perform
afterwards, your full purchase price, including shipping will be
cheerfully
refunded.
NEW!! Enhanced pseudo-errata coupling allows us to unconditionally
warrant the device as an Space Alien Abduction preventor. As with the
thermo-
nuclear device, your full purchase price will be refunded if you are
abducted by
space aliens. (certificate of sanity required to claim refund)
Development:
The Wun-Derr antenna is a result of pioneering work by Dr. A. Lee Hahn
done
at the Groom Lake Institute. By combining Element 118, polywater and
cold
fusion, Dr. Hahn discovered what he dubbed "F ractal R egeneration A
ntenna
U ltra D irectivity." Following his untimely death as the consequence of
a
neuralizer malfunction, Dr. Hahn's work was continued by Professor Derr
at
El Universidad de los Bobos in Ciudad de Guano del Toro, Banana Republic.
Herr Docktor professor holds the Barnum chair in Improbable Physics at
El Universidad de los Bobos. He was joined by the esteemed Dr. Wun,
a graduate of the elite Death to Running Yellow Dogs of Capitalism
University
in Yu-noh Province, China. Following a sabbatical at the Glorious
People's
Revolutionary Gang of Four Re-education Camp #116, he went on to gain a
Phd in Advanced Pseudo-Scientific Obsfucation at the noted Smash the
Bloated Plutocrats of Imperalism Technical Institute.
Together, this team discovered a method of combining wide bandwidth,
extremely high Q (exact figure classified but well in excess of 143,000)
and
a new super-duper conductor......Zerohmium (tm) which was necessary
to confine the wave pattern regeneration restrictor.
Theory of operation:
The incoming electromagnetic wave is separated into polar and sub-polar
segments by a patented "synchro-spastic inverse phase disgronificator."
The polar segments are then directed to a "Purple-Hayes" uncontrolled
field
beam hexer where they are mixed at high pressure with anti-gravitons.
The
sub-polar segments are held for @ 3.97642 femtoseconds in a neural-node
reflux path chamber before being allowed to migrate through a
non-metallic
nanotube gate array matrix to the plate of a cyclotronic accelerator.
The short
delay permits the formation of a micro wormhole within the space-time of
the
reflux chamber. The resultant is combined in a Jeffries Tube plasma
condiut
reactor and reformed as bagel dough. This produce is then heated to 5.6
tera
degrees K where it again becomes electromagnetic energy and passes
through
an entropy compensator. After compensation, it is directed through a
main
sequence carbon>argon>lithium>obscurium transformation and energy gain.
Appropriate torus magnetic (erstaz-Tokomak) containment fields are
provided
to control anti-lepton barometric radiation. (FDA, NRC approval pending)
Charmed and strange quark crackers provide up-down polarity
reconstruction
while mu-psion matrices in a kryptonite refracting concentrator convert
the
remaining cyclomatic prongazoids into left-right polarity. Pre and post
dinural
eludium-236 magnetic amplifiers are responsible for aft-fore polarity
stability.
Gain over an isotropic source computer modeled at .0017 dB.
This produce endorsed by Dr. Timothy Leery who states:
"I understand completely the operation of this device.
I am the walrus, I am the eggman; pardon me while I
kiss the sky."
Delivery expected during the fifth quarter of 2007.
MSRP $487,895.95 FOB Alexstranya, Leutonian People's Republic
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