I was reluctant to comment, but decided to toss in one idea I have used.
If you provide backstays to the pole your concern about the pole bending can
go away. However, when you do that, you will have cables that are away from
the pole base and pose a possible hazard when walking. But, you can manage
that hazard a bit differently than if the set of guys were to run to a
single point close to the ground.
The problem is a straight forward trig problem in terms of the tension
vector forces and somewhat more complex trig problem when you add the vector
forces from the wind forces on the tower sides and the "stuff" at the top of
the tower. I would suppose that you can get a quick idea for yourself by
simply building an EXCEL spreadsheet that calculates the tension force
vectors and wind load force vectors independently and then adds them
together. You do need to have the angle as well as the magnitude of force
vectors appearing at the common guy point  at the ground or at the top of
the pole.
If the above sounds confusing do not attempt these calculations (unless you
do it for the fun of it)  take the advice offered previously and get
"professional help". Paraphrasing an all too familiar advertisement, "....
Getting a good night's sleep? Priceless !"
Tod, KØTO
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