>From the ARRL's Contester's Rate Sheet for March 26, 2003:
Something we all need to know is an exact method for finding True
North. Having observed several in-depth discussions on this topic, I
believe that I have distilled the assembled wisdom of many emails into
the following guaranteed 13-step process:
1 -- Stack all patio furniture in the garage. No particular reason,
just do it.
2 -- Don your tower climbing belt, which must include two gorilla
hooks and a positioning lanyard, lots of caribeeners, a Danforth
anchor and a planetary gearhead.
3 -- Prepare some epoxy and obtain 200 meters of Thelman wire.
4 -- Use a slingshot, fishing rod, or potato gun to fling the Thelman
wire through the top of the tower. Secure it to a convenient guy
anchor with a caribeener and a Singapore Sling tied in a Four-In-Hand
5 -- Climb the tower.
6 -- Return down the tower to pick up the Plastic Owl.
7 -- Climb the tower.
8 -- Return down the tower to brief the ground crew and agree on hand
signals. Name the Plastic Owl.
9 -- Go to the bathroom and climb the tower again in that order.
10 -- At the top of the tower, scare away the birds by securing the
Plastic Owl to the wasp's nest using the Danforth anchor. Attach the
planetary gearhead to the Thelman wire using the epoxy.
11 --Clip your positioning lanyard to the gearhead and spin around the
tower twice saying, "There's no place like home, there's no place like
12 -- Yell down to the ground crew and have them point to True North.
Take the average of the directions in which they point and compute the
vector cross-product. You may ignore your estimated direction because
you're a scalar. (Sorry, obscure math joke.)
13 - Mark a large "X" on the side of your tool bucket. This is True
North and so shall it always be.
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