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Please consider that you may not be able to hear station B sending his
exchange to station A (the "frequency onwner"), because of cndx. Depending
on the contest exchange and code speed that may take more than five-ten
secs eventually.
 
IMO finding what appears to be a lapse in use, and immediately sending a 
"QRL?" (or worse a "?"),  is just a ploy to justify horning in at someone 
else's expense. Especially when they were there but busy, and they let the 
other fellow know ASAP. 
I know digging weak signals out often takes far more than 5-10 seconds. Not 
only do you have some impatient person who hasn't listened for even a few 
seconds sending "QRL?" on top of the weak signal that you almost finally 
copy, you are also demanded to bow down to the impatient person by telling 
him "RRR". A station with his panties on fire, because he cannot listen for 
10-20 seconds, often will not take a "dit" or "dit-dit" as a sign the 
frequency is in use. 
Thankfully most people don't operate that way, and have at least a marginal 
amount of patience. 
 
If everyone thought the same way contesting would be a big collection of
people insulting each other over the weekend.
Not one minute, not ten seconds without sending "QRL?" either, some middle
ground "in between".
 
Most people, I think, are reasonable about it.  The immediate "QRL?" who 
can't listen 10-20 seconds before sending "QRL", and then expecting an 
immediate acceptable response to his standards, is fairly rare. On the other 
hand, I have had people send  "dit dit   dit", and then in seconds, call a 
CQ and not stop. 
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