CQ 160-Meter Contest, CW
Call: K3ZM
Operator(s): K3ZM
Station: K3ZM
Class: Single Op HP
QTH: Virginia
Operating Time (hrs): 30
Summary:
Total: QSOs = 1437 State/Prov = 58 Countries = 71 Total Score = 843,273
Club: Potomac Valley Radio Club
Comments:
I lay on the therapist's sofa and tried to relax. I knew I had a serious
problem, so instead of going in to see an ordinary therapist I had decided to
visit the renowned Psychiatrist, Dr. Guttenfunk.
Dr. Guttenfunk: So, Peter. Tell me what troubles you.
Me: It's my girlfriend, Doc. She is killing me.
Dr. Guttenfunk: What is the problem?
Me: She is completely unpredictable. One day, she is lively and a delight to
be with - and the next day she is intolerable. She goes from being either
boring or obnoxious to being a complete joy. It is driving me crazy. I never
know what to expect.
Dr. Guttenfunk: Is there anything in particular that prompted you to come in
and see me?
Me: Yes. This past weekend. It was a classic case of what I am talking
about. We had planned this weekend for months. Our time together began on
Friday evening. She was completely dull and lifeless. I tried everything.
Moving at different speeds, going to different places. I went high, I went
low. Nothing worked. The evening was unbearable. When it was finally time to
go to bed, I said a prayer of thanks.
Dr. Guttenfunk: You said the date was for the whole weekend. What happened on
Saturday?
Me: It was like night and day. A complete joy. You see, our time on Saturday
started wonderfully with a sunset meal in Washington, D.C. off Constitution
Avenue. We dined at a lovely outdoor cafe - very Parisian. The sun went down
as we had drinks and enjoyed our food. While we were there, a number of
Europeans came by to say hello. It was quite pleasant and we enjoyed many
exchanges with them. Afterward, we went to an evening party at the State
Department. She works there. In the middle of the evening, we chatted with a
fellow from Israel. Then a Saudi Prince came by to say hello! My nephew
thinks he must be tied in to some kind of network, because not long afterwards
a fellow from Bahrain introduced himself to me. That was really cool. I don't
think I had ever spoken to anyone from Bahrain - certainly not when I was with
this girlfriend. This was really fun. We had a great time at the party. Doc,
believe it or not, throughout the course of Saturday evening 370 Europeans came
by to say hello. This is how cool it can be when I am with this lady.
After the party at the State Department, we went to a place in Georgetown and
then partied some more. We stayed up all night! I chatted with a guy from
Pitcairn Island or thereabouts. Just before the sun came up, these Aussies
came by to join us. Five of them! Four were from Western Australia. While
were all eating prawns from the barbie, a couple of dudes from Japan came over
to say hi. I had trouble understanding the first one but I finally caught on.
The other guy was easier to understand.
It really was an amazing night, and shows how much fun this lady can be.
Dr. Guttenfunk: I see. A bit like Jekyll and Hyde. Do you see any other
problems with your lady friend?
Me: Well, yes. I am not sure I can trust her. You see, not long ago she went
out a few times with some other dude.
Dr. Guttenfunk: Infidelity?
I could tell I had his interest. He began stroking his beard and looked very
alert behind his round spectacles.
Me: Yeah, some guy from Maine. At least he hangs out up there. He's got a
place on an island off the northeast corner of Maine. Like that's even in the
United States! Jeez.
Dr. Guttenfunk: Well, if it is in Maine, then it technically is part of the
continental United States.
Me: Whatever!
Dr. Guttenfunk: When will you be seeing your girlfriend again?
Me: Well, we definitely will be getting together the last full weekend in
February. For sure. The thing is, I am spending way too much money on this
chick. It's really beginning to add up. It's becoming an obsession. I should
be saving for my retirement.
Dr. Guttenfunk: I believe I have a preliminary diagnosis. This latest episode
was the last full weekend in January and you mentioned your upcoming date at the
end of February. It is quite possible that you have what we call PTA.
Me: PTA? What is that?
Dr. Guttenfunk: Pernicious Topband Affliction. It can be difficult to treat
and it is an expensive illness.
Me: Tell me about it.
Dr. Guttenfunk: I need to learn more before I can make a formal diagnosis.
Tell me about your brother.
Me: You mean my mother, right? Tell you about my mother?
Dr. Guttenfunk: No. I said, tell me about your brother. . .
73,
Peter K3ZM
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