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A Tale of woe and ho ho ho
Those without a sense of humor need read no further.
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Prologue:
{semi-serious mode on}
We were operating the recent ARRL DX SSB session. It was one of the all
time classics as far as things going wrong or badly is concerned. This
left a lot of free time for banter in the club's chat room. K3PP
commented that his monoband yogi antennas were not suffering from snow
influence like the trapped antennas were. We all had a good laugh at
his 1 letter typo, but like yawning, the resulting humor was contagious
and we expanded and expounded at great length,and there was much
rejoicing. Totally needed during an otherwise dismal conditions, failing
antennas, loss of AC power, ad nauseum weekend.
The next day K2XR was snowblowing and thought some of the stuff we all
came up with during the yogi thread was truly funny, reminiscent of the
kind of stuff he used to see in the Poisson d'Avril contest. Wonder
whatever happened to that one I wonder ?
To be perfectly honest, there is not a whole lot on the www about it,
but what is out there is hysterical. So here is the story of our
Fauxpedition with references that are worth following if you feel so
inclined.
{semi-serious mode off}
3830 Style Summary
Callsign: 4Q2DUG
QTH: Mud Island, Sri Lanka
IOTA: NO-T1
Locator: Varies
Operator: WA2/G0FRC Alfred
Club: Fulp's Reinstatement Crew
Category: SOAB CLASSIC LP
0 QSO's 0 Mults
claimed score: 42
The story as told to K2XR:
Monday 5 March early AM. FRC chat room. Day after ARRL DX SSB 2018
---------------------------------------
Big Gun talking to Clueless Noob.
CN: What a brutal contest that was. What should we do next ?
BG: WPX phone is coming up soon.
CN: Yeah, but we just did SSB and it was awful. Something else.
What about that 1 April contest ? The chocolate fish one.
BG: Yeah.. but K1DG wins every year and K3WW is banned for life. No fun.
CN: Really? I am new to this stuff. Tell me more.
BG: See for yourself. http://poissondavril.webs.com/
CN: Sounds like a lot of fun to me. It's motto is: If it's not fun, why
do it. Sounds a lot like why I am getting into contesting in the first
place. I listened to the QSO between K3WW and K1DG. Sounded fairly
normal to me, in fact it sounded like most of my contest QSO's. But all
I have is is this 10 watt portable and an MFJ vertical, so what do I
know.
BG: I can't say for sure kid, lets ask Chas. when he shows up. He
should be along in short order. Might be a new grid on the air or
something.
CN: ok, thanks I will.
WW: GM gents. Snow all shoveled. Logs are pouring in to ARRL already.
CN: GM Chas. I was wondering about your DQ in the 1 April contest.
Why were you banned for life ?
WW: Not sure if I remember, was that the time I sent him my log on an 8
inch floppy disk and folded it up to fit in a business envelope ? Or
maybe it was the the QRP qso.
CN: No it says on the website that it was the QRP contact. I listened
to it, and I saw nothing deserving such a severe punishment. Especially
to a contest hall of fame member and all gee whiz.
WW: Naw, I probably deserved it.
CN: Would you object if I try and get it removed? It seems N6TV did
something that won DG's favor and got his ban lifted. Maybe if I could
do something that made him laugh or smile he might reconsider. Seeing
how much activity his contest has, it might help generate some activity
as well.
WW: Sure sure kid, knock yourself out.
CN: Thanks, I will.
So our intrepid noob ponders his options. Soon more join the chat room
conversation.
W2RE: GM all how's it going? I got wiped out at the Maine site.
Issues all over the place crushed any hopes I had.
W2GD at HH2AA: Morning Ray, finally got on the air and did pretty good
I think, but with all those issues I had, I don't even know my score
yet. Have to find a way to get my logs from RHR format into Cabrillo.
You can read about it on 3830scores when I get it all done. Man what a
struggle but I learned a lot, and for someone with my experience, that
is saying a lot.
A lightbulb goes off in the noobs head...
CN: Hey Ray, I was wondering if it would be possible to set up a remote
at HA2HA as well. Might be a funny callsign to use and make some of us
laugh.
W2RE: Well really, we like to set up our stations either at a superior
location in US/VE or in a DXCC country that is either very rare, or in a
superior contest location. Like HH2AA, or the V2 station we are
currently working on.
CN: Oh, I get it now. Thanks for the information.
W2RE: Any time, and you can operate one of these stations if you like,
send me a direct message, and I will fill you in.
CN: Wow I will look into that when I am a much better operator. Thanks
again.
W2RE: Sure thing, We appreciate your enthusiasm. Every point counts !
Encouraged, our intrepid noob does some googleing and is rewarded with
some more ammo. Among other things he finds a DXpedition that was done
with the 1 April contest in mind.
http://mfdino.com/4quebec/
But he looks for their callsign in the results and nothing is to be
found. He clicks the link on that page that gives info on how to apply
for a guest operator license and discovers that the callsign they
requested did not end in a G like all Sri Lankan visitor licenses must.
"bet they lost their 500 rupees as well" he muses to himself. "I
wonder if Sri Lanka is rare enough to tempt W2RE" he wonders. But he
continues his quest for knowledge.
He runs across an article about Mud Island
http://fi-ni-report.blogspot.com/
as a possible destination for a new DXCC entity. "I bet that would get
Ray's juices flowing" he thought.
So our now excited hamster fires up Google Earth Pro and searches for
Mud Island at the specified location. To his dismay, it is gone. Nada
zip zilch kaput. Our heroes hopes are dashed before he even gets off
the ground.
Out of sheer luck, or good fortune or synchronicity our hero is watching
the Science channel on TV. The show 'What on Earth' is on.
He sees a segment talking about the string of islands between Sri
Lanka and the tip of India. It is indeed an interesting segment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odUtqDz4lEk
So he zooms in on the area with his already running Google Earth, and
lo and behold, there in front of his eyes is Mud Island. The darn thing
is a floating island, and has moved a fair distance in the Indian ocean,
but there is no doubt when comparing the image from the DXers website
and Google earth. Eureka !
Back to the chatroom our intrepid researcher heads, nearly exploding
with hope and anticipation.
CN: Hey Ray, you still around ?
RE: Sure, whats up ?
CN: I found a QTH you might be interested in. It is in 4S territory,
it is for sure a new IOTA, and it might even be a new DXCC entity ! I
have the licensing information, and could take care of that part of it
no problem, I have some friends in 4S land from my time overseas in the
airline business. They would be happy to sponsor our license. and I have
some PT&T experiences in that part of the world to draw on.
RE: Sounds real interesting to me, and I have a guy. In facts LOTS of
guys. This just might work. Not much time though. Let's talk about it
directly and see what we can come up with.
The next 3 weeks were a blur of activity for Alfred our now not so
clueless noob. He and Ray discussed the transportation and deployments
of one of Ray's latest developments: Ray's RIB (remote in box). Ray
explained to Alfred that the RIB had 3 modes of deployment, and
regardless of which was used. the whole thing fit into a standard LD
freight container.
https://www.searates.com/reference/ld2/
Making it easy to transport on many commercial jet aircraft, and small
enough to be carried on a simple pickup truck or small watercraft. Ray
arranged to deliver it directly to the Air Lanka cargo terminal at JFK
and send all the documentations, installation and operation manuals
directly to Alfred. It would be up to Alfred to arrange which flight
the cargo would be on, as well as arrange for customs clearance and
acceptance of delivery in Columbo. Normally the documents flew with the
RIB, but this way Alfred could read up on things and sort out any issues
in advance.
Meanwhile Alfred obtained his visa, booked his tickets as well as
the RIB's tickets and found a customs clearance agent in Columbo. Next
he applied for his Sri Lankan visitors license. What call sign to
request he wondered. He knew it had to have a G as the last letter. So
in order to honor the failed 4Q2BUD group, he requested DUG for
Didn't Use G . 4Q2DUG it is then ... right
Next he contacts the IOTA guys in order to obtain a new IOTA number for
Mud Island. Here it gets a little muddy ...
IG: Where is this Island ?
CN: Asia I guess, but it moves so I can't guarantee it will always be in
Asia, could reach Africa pretty easy from where it is now.
IG: Ok, here is what we will do. We will give it No continent, NO
for short, since it's location is known to be temporary we will give it
a T and since it is the first of it's kind we will give it number one.
So in summary NO-T1 IOTA is what will be Mud Islands designator shall
be. Good luck and have fun !!
Everything was going smoothly now, the document package for the RIB
arrived within a few days, and Alfred poured over it with all the
intensity he could muster. This is great, he thought to himself as he
eagerly read each booklet.
The RIB consisted of three individual pieces. How they were deployed
depended upon the conditions of the operating location.
1- The power system was a flexible mat solar array integrated with a
battery pack.
2- The base station electronics package included a TRex FPGA
communications system
3- The antenna system by FaRCe-12: a YOGI 1PP fractal log periodic
array,
The power system and antenna system each looked like a very large air
mattress but deflated folded and rolled for shipment.
The base station unit looked like a large watertight Pelican case.
In the standard DXpedition mode, all three units are fixed firmly to the
ground using tent pegs, and the air mattresses are not inflated.
In the semi floating mode, the base station is mounted to the foundation
structure, and the 2 air mattress structures are inflated and allowed to
float on the water. This is the mode designed for operations like
Scarborough Reef, Okino Torishima and the like.
In full floating mode, all units are inflated and allowed to float on
the water, tethered only to each other and free to drift along the major
ocean currents, thus providing the opportunity for activation of many
uncommon grids.
Alfred understood the solar/battery system. The communications
system documentation was pretty clear as well. It was a 100 watt
transceiver system for any mode of operation with a frquency range of .1
to 2500 MHz . What separated it from the rest of the competitors was
the SDR software, developed by the notorious P5 hacker Kai Hwun Jai
Ti . According to the manual, with a 24 bit monotone 10 GHz sample rate
ADC, you will be able to take signals that are just a few dB above ESP
and detect signals that are 20-30 db below ESP, allowing you to work
stations without them even knowing about it ! Alfred's mind reeled as
he thought about the possibility of working every station in Super Check
partial in a single sitting.
Alfred turned his attention to the antenna system, as this was the
part of ham radio he understood the least. He read that this was the
first commercial antenna system released by FaRCe-12 and that all would
bear the PP designation after the ham who inspired it all, K3PP, The
first antenna, and maybe the last anyone will ever need is the YOGI or
Yagi Optimizer Gain Infinite array. Based on the mathematics of the
Mandlebrot set, this antenna is able to provide elements of infinite
length in a finite area. When combined with log periodic structure
techniques this brings about the possibility of an antenna with near
infinite gain with near infinite frequency response, the engineers
dream and a production nightmare. For more information, call the sales
department of FaRCe-12. So Alfred did .....
AN: " Hello FaRCe-12 ? This is Alfred E. Newham. I would like to
speak with someone about my new 1PP antenna.
Operator: One moment please....
YS: Hello, Yoda Schwarz this is. Of some help can I be ?
Clearly shaken Alfred measures his query.
AN: Uhhhhh ... Yes, I am about to install a 1PP on a remote Island.
Can you offer any help or advice ?
YS: Excellent choice have you made. Strong will you be. On an
Island you say ? Deep in the ground the stakes you must pound. Back
to work must I now go .. 73 dit dit >click<
Typical support Alfred mutters to himself.
Finally it all starts to fall into place. Al heads to Sri Lanka.
Clears customs. Picks up the RIB and has it delivered to the harbor
where it is loaded on to his friends smallish yacht. He spends the
night at his friends house. Next morning, they head to the PT&T and pick
up the license. Then off to the yacht for the sail to Mud Island. By
next morning they have arrived, and not a moment too soon. It is Good
Friday, and they hope it will be a VERY Good Friday. Indeed it is and
by sunset the RIB has been offloaded to the island, and is ready for
full deployment, A few beers to relax with, and Al hits the rack.
Saturday Al carefully rolls out the antenna and power mattresses and
pounds the stakes deep into the island per Yoda's suggestion. The Trex
box is placed between them, and coax and power lines are carefully
installed and checked. Everything appears to be functioning properly.
The TRex is capable of several modes of operation. With an internet
connection, full remote is possible, but alas there is no internet on
mud island. Attended operation is also possible, but really is the
least desirable of all the modes. Local remote via UHF link is the
best choice for Al. With this, the station and the antennas are all on
Mud Island, but Al is in the air conditioned comfort of the yacht a few
miles offshore. By sunset Saturday night Al is back on the yacht, ready
to make some QSO's to check it all out before the test begins at 4 AM
local time ( 0000Z April 1st ). He calls Ray on 10 meters on the
secret frequency. They work immediately and qsy from band to band mode
to mode giving Ray the 1st crack at the new one on all bands. It is
great to have infinite gain and sub esp reception. Work anyone anywhere
anytime he thinks. Signing off with Ray, and needing some sleep before
the big test, Al sets his alarm for 3AM and crashes,
The alarm wakes Al up and he wolfs down some calories and caffeine
and moves from the galley to the shack. Fires up the rig... and
nothing ... no response. Something has gone terribly wrong.
Unfortunately it is still dark outside, so he will have to wait a few
hours to be able to see what is wrong. At sunrise, the truth is
revealed to Al and his yacht owning buddy, Mud Island is no longer
where it was, it is clearly on the move again. Fortunately it has not
moved far, as the watertight TRex can be seen on the horizon, but no
sign of the island itself. The rest of the day , Easter Sunday , is
spent chasing the moving island and catching up to it. Once there it
is clear that the island is still there, but has submerged about 15
feet, pulling the securely staked YOGI 1PP and the power unit
underwater, rendering both useless. The TRex is disconnected and
hauled onboard, and the rest of the day is spent snorkeling and SCUBA
diving to remove the stakes from the power unit and the 1PP, and getting
them back on to the yacht.
By the end of daylight Sunday in 4S land it is all Al can do but to call
me on the phone and relate the entire story to me, which I have
faithfully typed and posted on the CQ-Contest reflector per the Classic
PD'A rules, since no rules for this years event could be found.
Alfred is truly hopeful that DG will reinstate WW to non lifetime DQ
status, for as most contesters know, if WW isn't in it, it isn't really
a contest is it? However, if DG still feels that the lifetime ban is
still in order, then please ban me and Alfred too, we could not possibly
find ourselves in better company than AR and WW.
If restored, we are already planning next years entry. FaRCe-12 is
working on a Klein bottle based antenna the 3PP ( a bigger PP ). With
it we plan to work every ham ever licensed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRjl_nIRSLk
and a proper predated entry using Bill and Ted's most excellent time
machine .
http://www.henryradio.com/ourhistory.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHL_Of_CZ1A
If not reinstated well....... hope you laughed anyway. So long
and thanks for all the Poisson.
Dave K2XR for Alfred E. Newham WA2/G0FRC
Epilogue:
It is not often that 1 April falls on Easter. Perhaps it is this
contest that will get resurrected as well.
This was a pleasure to work on and write. There is a LOT of truth
hidden in this fictional entry. Only those involved will know which is
which, oh and by the way ... ban yourself Doug at least temporarily.
Having seen your act at the N2AA birthday bash, you are in the same
league as N6TV .
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