--------- Begin forwarded message ----------
From: Otto Taylor <wb6nxq@kingsnet.com>
To: n7zm@juno.com
Cc: jar@tcsn.net, lynnbo@juno.com, artvax@juno.com,
w77kxb@juno.com,willygil@pacbell.net, w7svq@juno.com,
bhoising@orednet.org,ditlow@ucla.edu, wa7wow@juno.com, k6pru@aol.com,
n1pgt@juno.com,n6vhd@volcano.net, wa6vxt@lightspeed.net,
fredw6bsf@lakefield.net,k6boy@juno.com, jrichetti@tcsn.net,
w8mcp@aol.com,wb6cem@e-universe.com, 750-5012@mcimail.com,
louisg@kingsnet.com,kq6mr@juno.com
Subject: [Fwd: VIRUS ALERT]
To: <tentec@contesting.com>
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 22:31:18 -0800
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From: "Larry Quebedeaux" <kc5qvu@arn.net>
To: "David L Hundley" <kb5wuf@juno.com>
Cc: "Wallace Provost" <n4bz@fia.net>, "Tony&Kay Holzman"
<kb5vjr@juno.com>,
"Ronnie Kerr" <rkerr@fia.net>, "Ralph taylor"
<wb6nxq@kingsnet.com>,
"Monty Denney" <denney@arn.net>, "Ione&Herb McBride"
<kf0ws@juno.com>
Subject: VIRUS ALERT
To: <tentec@contesting.com>
Date: Sat, 15 Mar 1997 16:45:10 -0600
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Though you would like this
----------
> >Subject: VIRUS ALERT
> >
> >
> > In a NEW VIRUS ALERT!!!
> > Immediately scan your computer for the
following
> > Viruses:
> >
> > PAT BUCHANAN VIRUS: Your system works fine, but complains loudly
about
> > foreign software.
> >
> > COLIN POWELL VIRUS: Makes it's presence known but doesn't do
anything.
> > Secretly, you wish it would.
> >
> > HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS: Files disappear, only to re-appear
mysteriously
a
> > year
> > later, in a different directory.
> >
> > O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS: You know it's guilty of trashing your system, but
you
> > just can't prove it.
> >
> > BOB DOLE VIRUS: Could be virulent, but it's been around too long to
be
much
> > of a threat.
> >
> > STEVE FORBES VIRUS: All files reported as the same size.
> >
> > PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This virus doesn't horse around, warns you of
impending
> > attack. Once if by LAN, twice if by C.
> >
> > STEVE CASE VIRUS: Too many error messages to list. Call the 800
number.
> > Caution: this number may be busy at all times....keep trying.
> >
> > POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus", but
instead
> >
> > refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism".
> >
> > ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just
before
the
> > whole thing quits.
> >
> > TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
> >
> > DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Thier is sumthing rong with yur kemputer, but ewe
cant
> > figyur out watt.
> >
> > GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software
> > says everything is fine.
> >
> > NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes alot of people
really
> >
> > mad just thinking about it.
> >
> > FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little
> > units, each of which does practically nothing; but all of which claim
to be
> > the most important part of your computer.
> >
> > GALLUP VIRUS: 60% of the PC's infected will loose 30% of their data
14%
of
> > the time. (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error).
> >
> > TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
> >
> > ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
> >
> > CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up and the screen splits in
half
> > with
> > the same message appearing on each side. The message says that the
blame for
> >
> > the gridlock is caused by the other side.
> >
> > AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: Your database is in the U.S., but all of your
data is
> >
> > in Singapore.
> >
> > FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessive with marrying it's
own
> > motherboard. (also known as the Arkansas Virus).
> >
> > PBS VIRUS: Your program stops running every 10 minutes to ask for
money.
> >
> > ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy; then self
destructs
> > only
> > to show up at shopping malls and service stations across America.
> >
> > OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.
> >
> > NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.
> >
> > SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power
supply
> > and shocks.
> >
> > JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your program can never be found again.
> >
> > KERVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
> >
> > STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has
gone
> > before.
> >
> > HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong
and
> > sends
> > you a bill for $4,500.00.
> >
> > GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly saying, "Read my docs....No
new
> > files!", on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on
your
> > hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
--------- End forwarded message ----------
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