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From: "Siedelhofer, Gil
Subject: FW: Football Exam
To: <tentec@contesting.com>
Date: 12/04
Time: 09:54 AM
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From: "Siedelhofer, Gil (SOM400A)" <GSiedelhofe@exchange.ml.com>
To: "'Brannigan, Jim'" <FSWF37A@prodigy.com>
Subject: FW: Football Exam
To: <tentec@contesting.com>
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 1997 09:53:45 -0500
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> One of the people I sent this too responded. Thought you
might
> enjoy
> it.
>
>
>
======================================================================
>
> Being a former football player I am highly offended by this.
To
> prove
> that we are not all stupid the correct answers are in red
below.
> This
> should prove once and for all that we are not stupid!!
>
> Matt
>
>
>
>
> UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI
> ENTRANCE EXAM- FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION
>
> Time Limit: 3 WKS
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
>
> 1. What language is spoken in France?
> The language of Love!!!
>
> 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
>
> particular reference to architecture, literature, law and
> social
> conditions
> -OR-
> give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
>
> His first name is Pete.
>
> 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
> (a) build a bridge
> (b) sail the ocean
> (c) lead an army or
> (d) WRITE A PLAY
>
> E. None of the above. The Bill I know is too stupid to do
any
> of
> them things.
>
> 4. What religion is the Pope?
> (a) Jewish
> (b) Catholic
> (c) Hindu
> (d) Polish
> (e) Agnostic
> (check only one)
>
> I only played ball with him once or twice, we neve talked
> about
> religion. If you want to know, ask him!!!
>
> 5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
>
> Well there is 100 yards on a football field and the end
zone
> is another
> 10 yards, so I will say 3.
>
> 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the
little
>
> hand is on the 5?
>
> Time to eat.
>
> 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
>
> The coach didn't wrtie any plays for him - he was cut from
the
> team.
>
> 8. What are people in America's far north called?
> (a) Westerners
> (b) Southerners
> (c) Northerners
>
> Duh!! they're americans!!!
>
> 9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton.
>
> Bash Karter Klinton
>
> 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one
> being
> George the Sixth. Name the previous five.
>
> Larry, Moe, Curly, Shemp, Joe
>
> 11. Where does rain come from?
> (a) Macy's
> (b) a 7-11
> (c) Canada
> (d) the sky
>
> Water stupid!
>
> 12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
> (a) yes
> (b) no
>
> C
>
> 13. What are coat hangers used for?
>
> Duh, to help you get into your car if you locked the keys
in.
>
> 14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what
>
> country?
>
> You gave it away with the first question, France
>
> 15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium
> -OR-
> spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
>
> Do we have to hand in the blocks or can we just take a
picture
> of them?
>
> 16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
>
> This is an unfair quetion, where is the building located?
>
> 17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
> (a) New York
> (b) Florida
> (c) Canada
> (d) Wisconsin
>
> None of the above. Trees produce oranges. Who is the
idiot
> who
> wrote this test?
>
> 18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do
you
>
> have?
>
> Enough for me and Willy
>
> 19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?
>
>
> Never been caught.
>
> 20. The University of Miami tradition for efficiency began
when
>
> (approximately)?
> (a) B.C.
> (b) A.D.
> (c) still waiting
>
> a
>
> You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify.
>
>
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