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The attached is forwarded to help any Yankee's understand Southeren drawl; =
especially when copied with a narrow SSB filter.=20
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Date: Wed, 10 Nov 1999 21:56:30 -0500
Reply-To: wmitchel@concentric.net
From: "Warren Mitchell" <wmitchel@concentric.net>
To: sewatkins@dgs.state.va.us
Subject: HICKBONICS
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=20
The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of
the seemingly endless taxpayer dollars pipelined through
Washington by designating Southern slang, or Hickbonics," as a language =
to
be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would
be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the
Hickbonics/English dictionary:
=20
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
=20
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?"
=20
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
=20
JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
=20
BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is
Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000
in improvements."
=20
MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't
herd from him in munts."
=20
THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
=20
BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and
yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
=20
IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
=20
RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck
my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
=20
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup
truck."
=20
FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my
pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
=20
TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a
flat tar in my pickup truck."
=20
TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to
see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
=20
RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
=20
FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or
combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
=20
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
=20
FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some
farn country."
=20
DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
=20
EAR - (noun) - A colourless, odourless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"
=20
BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
=20
JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that
bob war fence cump'ny?"
=20
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked
but a minnit'n 'is laf."
=20
SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
=20
VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"
=20
GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."=20
--=_5A034364.DABBD751--
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