[AMPS] More humor

[km1h @ juno.com]

Just a bit more to improve all of our frame of mind. Copied from the sane
world. 

Cheers,  Carl  KM1H


Subject: [Fwd: (Fwd) your career & elephant hunting]
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 1997 13:03:28 -0400
Message-ID: <3418245F.3687@worldnet.att.net>

>  Hunting an Elephant
>  =================
> 
>  MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out
everything
>  that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
> 
>  EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence of at
>  least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate
>  exercise.
> 
>  PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least one
>  unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual
>  elephant as an exercise for their graduate students
> 
>  COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
>    1. Go to Africa.
>    2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
>    3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent
>       alternately east and west.
>    4. During each traverse pass,
>       a. Catch each animal seen.
>       b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
>       c. Stop when a match is detected.
> 
>  EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a known
>  elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.
> 
>  ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS prefer to execute Algorithm A on their
>  hands and knees.
> 
>  ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at
>  random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus
15
>  percent of any previously observed elephant.
> 
>  ECONOMISTS don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants
are
>  paid enough, they will hunt themselves.
> 
>  STATISTICIANS hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an
>  elephant.
> 
>  CONSULTANTS don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything
at
>  all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do.
> 
>  OPERATION RESEARCH CONSULTANTS can also measure the correlation of hat
>  size and bullet color to the efficiency of elephant-hunting
strategies, if
>  someone else will only identify the elephants.
> 
>  POLITICIANS don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants
you
>  catch with the people who voted for them.
> 
>  VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT try hard to
hunt
>  elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it.  When the vice
>  president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure
that all
>  possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice president
sees
>  them.  If the vice president does see a nonprehunted elephant, the
staff
>  will (1) compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge
>  itself to prevent any recurrence.
> 
>  SENIOR MANAGERS set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the
>  assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper
>  voices.
> 
>  QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS ignore the elephants and look for
mistakes
>  the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.
> 
>  SALES PEOPLE don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling
elephants
>  they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens.
> 
>  HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them as
>  desktop elephants.
> 
>  SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE ship the first thing they catch and write up an
>  invoice for an elephant.
> 
>



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