Fwd: You May Be an Engineer

[JimP911 at aol.com]

---------------------
Forwarded message:
From:	joker at tdkt.org (Scott Anderson)
Sender:	owner-joke at gnt.net
Reply-to:	joker at tdkt.org
To:	joke at gnt.com
Date: 96-05-09 02:34:33 EDT

When I wasn't looking, my cat held down the delete key on my computer last
night before I backed up.  Consequently, I lost about 200 messages in my
inbox.  If any of you have sent me a message asking to unsubscribe,
you'll need to send a message to majordomo at gnt.com with the words
UNSUBSCRIBE JOKE on the first line of the message.  You will need to
unsubscribe if you are losing your account or are going to be away from
your computer this summer.  I know many of you are students.

This one comes from a friend at work, Pat.  Be sure and check out his web
page at http://www.skypoint.com/~mcneely

***********************************************************
         You May Be an Engineer if...

If you introduce your wife as "mylady at home.wife"

If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner

If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas

If Dilbert is your hero   *** <----- ***

If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50

If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place

If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts

If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
find the burnt-out bulb in the string

If you window shop at Radio Shack

If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area

If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that actually takes five minutes to run

If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment

If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is

If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

If you own "Official Star Trek" anything

If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's
inside

If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception

If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project

If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor

If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

If you have never backed-up your hard drive

If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing
games, but are afraid to say it out loud

If you truly believe aliens are living among us

If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

If you see a good design and still have to change it

If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
your mind

If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember
where they are

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you
own turns bread into charcoal

If you have more toys than your kids

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they
work

If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush
up to the front to fix it

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel
and have seen most of the shows already

If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what
RPN stands for

If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew
up thinking that was normal

If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size
screw driver to use

If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

If people groan at the party when you pick out the music

If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this
week

If you did the sound system for your senior prom

If your checkbook always balances

If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers

If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they
didn't get enough sleep

If you spend more on your home computer than your car

If you know what http:/ stands for

If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio

If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
garage

If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory

If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4.
Chocolate
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