[CQ-Contest] [BARC] The Lunch

Spike Lazar slazar19 at sgi.net
Mon Nov 24 18:42:34 EST 1997

Dear Contesters,

The following essay appeared on the "Boring Reflector" the organ
of The Boring Amateur Radio Club. BARC is a real radio club (K7RAT)
that also has many cyber members from all over the place. The Boring
Amateur Radio Club is the actual place you will send your Stew Perry 
160 Meter Challenge logs.

I'm sure your going to enjoy Lew Sayre's writings as much as I do, 

Return-Path: <owner-barc at quito.kkn.net>
From: lew at teleport.com
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 1997 01:44:39 -0800 (PST)
Reply-To: lew at teleport.com
To: barc at kkn.net
Subject: [BARC] The Lunch
Sender: owner-barc at kkn.net

Wow...What a Great Club the Boring Amateur Radio Club is! This
past Monday was our noon time luncheon. I kept expecting Al,
W1AB to show up since he figured on being in Oregon by September.
But here it is 1/2 past November and he still hasn't been here.
Maybe the poor spastic E season has slowed him down.
    When I took role at the lunch the waitress person came over to
see what the commotion was all about. I figured that all the other
members of this great Club were hiding out and needed a little coaxing
to come out...since I seemed to be the only one there. After the
security guy took away the P.A. mike they said they would let me stay
if I ordered something..so I did, and the meeting continued.
    A Club certainly can get a lot done when only 1 person shows up.
a Motion was made, seconded and passed to offer certificates in any
class a contester wants to make him/her feel better after getting
whipped by most everybody in the world. I think El Diablo was working
on this project with a fervor. Another motion was made, seconded and
passed to have the Boring Amateur Radio Club become the first Club
that will offer to Amateurs the evaluation service to determine if a
ham radio station will pass the new RF Emission's test that all
U.S.A. Amateurs must be in compliance for by Jan 1, 1998. Any 80M
or 160M RF (Usually Nocturnal Emissions) will be charged at a slightly
higher rate than the other bands. A grand discussion was held about
the fee schedule for this service, but the security guy came back so
the meeting came to an abrupt end. Its clear the goon couldn't de-code
my rubber-band-in-front-of-the-mike trick where you can make Morris Code
sounds. I figured "CQ DX de P5RAT" would lure any late comers over to
the right table. I was wrong..and on out the door.
     Looks like at the next meeting I'll have to wear a hat or
clever shirt as a disguise to get back in.
    Driving home I figured that maybe somebody on the non-Boring
coast could do the nocturnal emissions tests for us...like maybe
Der-foofnik. I read in one of the funny papers about a beam antenna
he and the Green Hornet made out of spaghetti...or noodles. He was
going to send me the secret plans for this beam so I could make one
for 80M, but the plans never arrived. So I made up an M&M one that
works really good. It hasn't even crashed yet, and Der-Rattmann's
turning device points the beam right where I want it to go. I really
like the red & green lights on the control box. Maybe next he can add
a siren that goes off when it turns the beam.
    Maybe next letter I can tell you about Dr. Big Gun's Beverages.
He put them up and he's caught lots of new stations and deer. He even
let me do the important part of stringing the wire through the poison
oak & ivy and stuff. I'm just about finished with the steroids now and
the skin doctor tells me the blisters probably won't scar too much.
   This Boring Amateur Radio Club sure is keen!
   73 and I remain,
         Domitrix          w7ew/w7at

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