[CQ-Contest] The Chosen

[Pete Smith N4ZR]

Bravo, Hans - we all know that the Chosen (self-Chosen) exist and look 
down their noses at the rest of us. They even have their own "serious 
contesters" reflector, to which the unwashed are not invited.

73, Pete N4ZR
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On 12/20/2015 12:37 AM, David Gilbert wrote:
>
> You seem to find it inapprpriate that an email list dedicated to 
> contesting, and only contesting, would tend to look at things from a 
> contester's perspective.
>
> Curious that ...
>
> Dave   AB7E
>
>
> On 12/19/2015 8:59 AM, HH Brakob wrote:
>> Please Copy
>> The Wise Ones live in the depths of the D, E, and F-Layers, and in the
>> servers at Contesting.com. They are the descendants of the Gods. I
>> personally subscribe to the theory they are the children of Thor
>> Heyerdahl, the Viking god of Thunder and Balsawood Raft Dxpeditions. But
>> that's another story.
>>
>> The Wise Ones criticize everything that happens on the air and on this
>> list, but they can't police every pileup or every reflector by 
>> themselves,
>> so every morning, just before daylight over Katmandu, the Wise Ones 
>> select
>> the "Mostest Intellegentest Contesters" in their layer and convey 
>> upon him the
>> title INFLICTOR OF HIGHER MORAL HARANGUES. This title and its duties 
>> last
>> until the following dawn on Bouvet, if someone is there to observe the
>> sunrise. Otherwise your duties end when Riley Hollingsworth gets 
>> tired of
>> your crap and sends his lawyers with a gag order.
>>
>> If you are ever chosen you will know because a representative of the 
>> Wise
>> Ones will anoint your temples with oil from a forty year old bottle 
>> of Dr.
>> Guano, collected on Ocean Island by VR1L in 1963. For that day you 
>> will be
>> known as The Chosen. Your duties will be to seek out those that don't do
>> things the way you do them (in other words, the right way.) When you 
>> find
>> them, it will be your duty to correct them.
>>
>> Think about it...too wide, too weak, too slow, too fast, what's your 
>> call
>> dammit, wrong VFO, rotten fist, poor pileup control, wrong band, wrong
>> zone, do not "please copy", wrong lingo, not enough green stamps,
>> you're in the DX window, no-coders not allowed, coders suck, .... 
>> They're
>> all yours.
>>
>> When you find these wayward ones, you will lumber onto their 
>> frequency, oronto their reflector thread, stand up in your operating 
>> chair and shout, I
>> AM A BETTER CONTESTER THAN YOU, SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
>> You will now have the wayward one's undivided attention. He will
>> think about this very briefly, then yield to your superior intellect 
>> and contesting
>> skill. He will be very receptive to your thoughts and point of view.
>> Lecture him and proceed to the next wrongdoer.
>>
>> Now for the sad part of this tale. There are pretenders and 
>> charlatans out
>> there who try to usurp the rightful powers of The Chosen. To you
>> villainous few, I say beware. The Wise Ones also created BAWA 
>> (Baddest Ass
>> Whats Around). No matter how bad you are, BAWA has the ability to be
>> badder. You will know when you start your lecture and Bawa yells back,
>> "You're a jerk, but I'm a bigger one. LET'S ESCALATE".
>>
>> And you will have no choice.
>>
>> But soon BAWA will tire of you and sink your little balsa boat. As 
>> you slip
>> under the surface you will yell, "BUT I WAS RIGHT, DAMMIT" and you will
>> once again prove the ancient mariners axiom -- AN OPEN MOUTH TAKES
>> ON WATER.
>>
>> dit dit
>>
>> de Hans, K0HB
>>
>>
>>
>> —
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>
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