[SEDXC] Speech that Bush should make

[Guy Shields]

WOULD'NT IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE OLE' TV TONIGHT AND
SEE G. W. BUSH GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH .

My fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.

It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some
of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those 
nations on
List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the 
first year
alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of 
the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal 
now.
Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for
negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.

I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and 
crushed.
I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets 
tomorrow
or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some
of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to
be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not 
pissing us
off for a change.  Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his 
entire corrupt
government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra 
tank and infantry
divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border 
security.
So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United 
States is
abrogating the NAFTA treaty -- starting now.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism.

I answer them by saying 'darn tootin.' Nearly a century of trying to
help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the
undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.

It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate 
homelessness
in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.

Thank you and good night.