[TenTec] Comments from an ORION user

[K4IA@aol.com]

Since everyone has their gripes and answers, I thought the following  summary 
of airline repair posts and responses might be of interest to the  list.  
Supposedly they are actual repair requests from pilots and the  response received 
from the airline's service department.  These could  easily be adapted to the 
Orion discussion.
 
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. 
S: Almost replaced  left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very  rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose  in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on  windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order. 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold  mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on  ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence  removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more  believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S:  That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative  in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're  right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after  brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. 
S: Aircraft warned to  straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S:  Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat  installed.

And the best one for last.................

P: Noise  coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding 
on something  with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Radio  k4ia
"Buck"
Fredericksburg, VA USA