[TenTec] Ten Tec/Elecraft/Etc.

[wo8l at aol.com]

To All on the Ten Tec Reflector,
 
I have read the recent postings about the Orion 2 software upgrade, the OMNI VII and even the new Elecraft K3.  It’s the search for the perfect rig.
 
So, I’ve got to come clean.
 
I’ve invented it.
 
The amazing thing about my new rig is that it’s the only one on the market you can use on a dead band.  Yes, using the super sensitive built-in recorder/playback system (optional at $328.94), it plays back your favorite DX contacts from years ago even though the bands are now deader than John Wayne’s acting style.
 
Not only does my new design provide wide frequency radio reception, it also includes a digital TV screen/receiver system(cable and satellite ready), laptop computer, police and fire scanner, and remote microphones to monitor bedrooms and garage, as well as a state of the art, super-sensitive sensor to monitor cat litter pan methane levels.  (This optional package is yours at $453.23 in the Continental USA, slightly higher in New Jersey, New York and other foreign countries.)
 
Best of all, the rig comes with Refreshment Options.  If you get stressed out regarding some feature of the rig you deem less than perfect, kick back with the built-in beer dispenser (Optional at $343.01).   After you’ve had a couple, that clicking relay you think you hear just won’t matter anymore.
 
Or if you nod off listening to dead band static as most of us are these days, wake up with the built-in coffee dispenser (Optional at $1.32).  Sleep in front of your rig all night and get a java jolt first thing the next morning so you can get to the office bright and perky to brag about your latest ham radio appliance.
 
This is the perfect rig for the international market.  We have pioneered a new technology called “Diversity Morse Code.”  Yes, you can now hear morse code in English, German, Japanese, Chinese or even California Valley Girl Language, all translated automatically for your geographic location.  You’ve never heard dits and dots like this!!!
 
(I’ve got my morse code set for a Southern accent, y’all.)
 
Finally, for you DX policemen, there’s a set of prerecorded messages (Optional at $6.09) to keep the bands pure.  Choose one or all from “Up 5, Ummm...No Make that 4,” “Wait Until He Asks for Calls,” “He’s Going QRT,” “Lid,” and a barking dog for those of you who often  leave your vox on while fido is in the room.
 
You’re gonna love it,
 
Rick
WO8L
North Carolina
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