Topband: Re: S-meter

[Guy Olinger, K2AV]

Top ten list of reasons why a DX station might send you a 599 and 
still ask for a repeat on your exchange:

----------------------------------

Number Ten:

The guy can't copy anything over 3 wpm in his head, his little code 
copying box gets it's brain scrambled by RF in the shack about every 
third QSO, and he has to take the battery out of the case to reset it.

Number Nine:

You just happen to be sending synchronized to the cycles on the neon 
sign on the bar across the street from him...DL5XYZ DE KQ9OOO TNX 
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzzzz 73 ES GL. Murphy is getting 
even for your working three Asiatic Rim stations from the east coast 
during the opening the night before.

Number Eight:

Sending "Jeanne" in "Fond-du-Lac" has him wondering if AF9G was really 
F9GA and he's preoccupied checking whether the knob on his beverage 
switch has slipped. What you get for running 18 kW and 9 phased 
verticals in a man-made salt marsh.

Number Seven:

His copy skills were working just fine using his brand new beverage 
that hops over the alley into the back neighbor's yard. Until the 
garbage truck drove down the alley, snagging the wire and driving off 
with the termination, transformer, quite a bit of RG6, and all the 
laundry hanging on the part cleverly disguised as part of the 
clothesline.

Number Six:

160 meters has been so boring that he's taken to watching French 
language reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond on TV between the infrequent 
spells of propagation, and he's got the TV volume up so he can hear it 
over the QRN on the band.

Number Five:

His speaker is blown out and he's been copying your signal by 
interpreting the CW pulses on his S meter.

Number Four:

Needs sleep because the battery on his 24 hour clock gave out and he's 
been hunched over the RX for two days waiting for it to be 0700Z.

Number Three:

He's out to dinner and a movie, his contest logging program has had 
control of the rig for the last three weeks since he forgot to turn it 
off after the test, and in fact you're having a QSO with a spreadsheet 
that doesn't understand anything except numbers.

Number Two:

You're the guy who stole his run frequency in the last 160 test, and 
he's just doing it to jerk you around.

AND:

The NUMBER ONE reason why a DX station might send you a 599 and still 
ask for a repeat on your exchange:

   BRAINNE PHARTE.


73, y'all