Topband: Top Ten Reasons for Self-Spotting on Top Band

[Guy Olinger, K2AV]

Top Ten Reasons for Self-Spotting on Top Band
---------------------------------------------

10. Needs practice typing in his call sign.

9. It's really the kid running WriteLog who thinks he's playing a
video game.

8. Burned up his TX trying to quadruple power output by plugging into
220V outlet. Using packet spots as substitute transmitter.

7. Got tired of no QSO's using the Super-Power All-Band 5 kW 
No-Radials-Needed 25db gain Rubber Duckie vertical he bought from 
classified ads in CB-Weenie magazine. Using packet spots as substitute 
antenna.

6. Out of minutes on cell-phone and it's really a secret signal for
mom to come over to the apartment to pick up his laundry and start the
bi-weekly dishwasher run, and mom's gone on a six-month vacation to 
Alaska.

5. His monitor's gone fuzzy since he accidentally spilled his
quadruple vodka sour into it and can't tell the difference between 
logger
and telnet windows.

4. He drank his quadruple vodka sour and can't tell the difference 
between
logger and telnet windows.

3. He drank his quadruple vodka sour and really thinks that's the
other guy's call sign.

2. In a rare IE discombobble the browser displayed mix and match ARRL 
web page fragments and our self-spotter is working hard to get the 
160M Worked All Self-Spots award.

And the number one reason for Self-Spotting on Top Band...

1. Vanity mirror in ham shack broken throwing tools in rage over
missing Christmas Island in pile-up. Nowhere else left to primp.

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73 y'all, Guy.




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