Topband: In search of the True Monopole, Part One.

[Guy Olinger K2AV]

Sorry, ain't finished, but it will be along.  Dunno what I hit that made it
send. Tree, if you see it first, please pull it.  73, Guy.

On Tue, Jan 31, 2012 at 6:51 PM, Guy Olinger K2AV <olinger at bellsouth.net>wrote:

> Well, Cackle Fersus got up that morning and forever afterwards swore
> something was bent about the day.  Nothing has seemed straight or screwed
> on all the way ever since, and probably won't ever be, unless he can find
> the True Monopole.
>
> The morning started out with what was left of a dream that night where he
> was hainted by his ancient elmer, GW3GW, reminding him from the old country
> that the path to prosperity and pure signals on Top Band could only be had
> by using a True Monopole, and speaking only True English into a True
> Microphone.
>
> Cackle wasn't too bothered by the True English or True Microphone
> specifications, since he had gotten into nearly exclusive CW, which was not
> rectified into "wron wo kro" in the telephone, radio and phonograph of
> left, across street, and right neighbors respectively.  But the True
> Monopole haint bothered Cackle greatly as he had imperfect early life
> memories of experts pronouncing that only vertical monopoles could really
> give one true happiness on Top Band.  All the experts had seemed very tall,
> and coincidentally rather monopolish themselves.
>
> Consequently that day, Cackle gathered himself up and did something he
> hadn't done for years since he was cramming for his Extra license.  He got
> down his dusty, but still not filled spiral notebook, his EZ-Squeeze pen,
> and headed off downtown to the big technical library at Old U to get the
> True English definition of the True Monopole. How could one possibly do a
> True Search for the True Monopole unless one knew the True Definition.  He
> was not at all prepared for what the search would cost him.
>
>
>
> But that wasn't a True Monopole.  It was, Cackle realized with sorrowful
> regret, a whole pole plus part of a pole in the hole. It was a One Point
> One Pole.
>
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> Morals of the Tale:
>
> You can't do a push without a pull, or a pull without a push, and to get
> it out, you first have to put it in.  So a Monopole can NEVER be True.  But
> Cackle understood the haint's good intentions, since the True Monopole
> could only be found by not finding.  The True Monopole
>
> So the True Monopole is like a snipe, whose superlative non-existence is
> only understood in the not-finding in the hunt.  Or it's like Upstate New
> York, that never exists where it's pointed to, and only upon the southern
> banks of the St. Lawrence river do you understand that the term itself was
> a benign Canadian advertising scheme to get you to come up and tour Canada.
>
> or monopole experts -- you get out there and actually start looking for
> them, they can't be found.
>
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