[TowerTalk] "Coax Break-In".. Applauded!

[Roger L. Elowitz]

Hi Kelly and other scatologically interested parties,

At 07:28 PM 8/5/97 +0000, you wrote:

>Curious: How do you compensate for the dielectric coefficient of bird 
>guano and the effect that will have on the velocity factor of your 
>elements? 

Simple Kelly!  RF flows under the the stuff and through it.... and not
around it. Furthermore, RF is also not slowed down traveling through it
so the velocity of propagation isn't affected either. It's only effect
on the signal is to tinge it will a slight raspyness similar to what
you hear from an auroral reflection.  If fact... it is sometimes
impossible to tell the difference between a signal that has been
reflected by a strong auroral pattern or a guanno encrusted beam. Both
sound rather "shitty" to coin a technical term.

>Not to mention the effect wet bird stuff can have when it lands 
>across the feed point.

Not on my beams they don't.  That problem was solved long ago by using
the little pink umbrellas you get in those fancy mixed drinks.  I stick
them over the coax feedpoint using some hot melt glue.  With enough hot
melt glue.... I believe you need at least three or four pounds of
it..... the umbrellas stay put and the feedpoint remains 'POOPFREE" to
coin another technical term.

>And have you forgotten how bird droppings affect the conductivity of 
>surrounding ground? Could throw your beam patterns into complete 
>disarray. 

As a point of fact, guanno is highly enriched source of nitrogen and
makes a beautiful fertilizer for your lawn... as long as it is well
watered in.  I would chip the droppings off the beam with a chisel and
spread them with a broadcast type lawn spreader.  Grass grows like
crazy when properly guannoed.  

I even tried one experiment where I burried a guanno encrusted beam
directly in the ground but although I got superrior reports of low
angle radiation from submarines... the grass grew in a beam shapped
pattern that just plain looked stupid... so we dug it up and set it
back on the tower.

>Seems to me the only thing worse than bird guano is droppings from a
male 
>cow!

It's only worse when you step in it in your bare feet when you go out
at night to lower the tower when the wind kicks up.  Then, it's OK to
wash your feet off in the birdbath before you come in the house.

Don't forget Kelly.... Just Keep Smilin'.... you look better and feel
better that way.

73,

Roger, K2JAS




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