[TowerTalk] "Coax Break-In".. Applauded!

[Roger L. Elowitz]

Hi Roy and all,

Flying cows and elephants, guanno encrusted beam elements.... it all
boggles my mind.  And here all I was worried about previously was Jack
Kavorkian coming to visit!

Next hams will be asking for a guanno build-up stress rating on our
beams and Teflon Coatings will become all the rage for Christmas.  Just
think of the creative advertising possibilities.... "Survived the Dirty
Dozen.... Sea Gulls that is."  

Perhaps 3M will come out with a new "NO-Stick" element coating?  What
about covering our beam elements with those spikey thingys... to
prevent lightning strikes? The creative possibilities are endless.

Say... if you really want to get your neighbors running stark raving
mad down the street... you could tape four foot flourescent tubes to
your elements and, as you modulate your transmitter the suckers would
glow and blink like crazy in the dark. 

I really used to do this in 1959 while in high school in Brooklyn, NY.
I taped a flourescent tube to my 9-ft mobile whip on the back of a 49
Pontiac with Gonset Twins under the dash and I road around at night
with the tube attached.  If it glowed with only  50-watts....and
picking up chicks was easy..... think what it'll do with 500 or more
watts, spinning around at night.  

The local UFO society will surely be watching you real closely thinking
your trying to make contact with the mother ship.  Just don't deny it,
but rather, say you are not at liberty to comment. Who say's ham don't
know how to have fun?

Do take care and....do keep laughing.

Roger, K2JAS

========================================================
At 03:12 PM 8/5/97 +0000, you wrote:
>
>On Tue, 05 Aug 1997 16:38:23 -0400 "Roger L. Elowitz"
><K2JAS@worldnet.att.net> writes:
>>Hi Kelly and other scatologically interested parties,
>>
>>At 07:28 PM 8/5/97 +0000, you wrote:
>>
>>>Curious: How do you compensate for the dielectric coefficient of bird 
>>
>>>guano and the effect that will have on the velocity factor of your 
>>>elements? 
>>
>
>>>Seems to me the only thing worse than bird guano is droppings from a
>>male 
>>>cow!
>>
>>It's only worse when you step in it in your bare feet when you go out
>>at night to lower the tower when the wind kicks up.  Then, it's OK to
>>wash your feet off in the birdbath before you come in the house.
>>
>>Don't forget Kelly.... Just Keep Smilin'.... you look better and feel
>>better that way.
>>
>>73,
>>
>>Roger, K2JAS
>>
>  All this reminds me that we should be very happy that elephants can't
>fly.  Can you imagine have to guy a tower and elements to manage the
>stress of landing elephants?  Also, you would have to do something
really
>creative to manage the pile-ups at the base of the tower.  Midnight
trips
>to the base of the tower would be drastically curtailed as the insurance
>for "bird strikes" might be prohibitive.  Element rotation might
become a
>monthly requirement to equalize the stress around the material.  And
>last, but not least, any type of device that might forestall the landing
>of the elephants on your antennas would be totally band by the Flying
>Elephants Have Rights Too (FARHTS).
>   73.. Roy
>  P.S.  Look out for flying cows too!!
>
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