[TowerTalk] April pile-up

[Jack Goforth]

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Pile-up after Pileup

After reading postings on the towertalk reflector concerning April fool
jokes and the UPS strike, I wish to expound issues more related to
towers, grounding and  associated subjects.

As  a "low band" DXer, I read with interest postings on the towertalk
reflector about running radial wires into septic tanks and drain fields. 
Other postings have dealt with lightning protection and "common Point" 
grounding.  I have some experience in these  areas and offer to share my 
failures and triumphs with the deserving.

After installing my 150-ft tower, (elevated, series fed for 160 meters with
above ground radials) I wanted to build a four square for 80 meters using
the single tower as support.
 
The marriage counselor my wife had been seeing suggested that now that
the kids are gone and the dog has died, my wife, Rose, might be happier 
if I moved my Ham equipment into one of the  kid's old bed rooms. He 
also suggested that I try to eliminate the "wires" surrounding our house,
at least in the front yard. Confronted with this and trying to hold my
marriage together, I agreed to place my above ground counterpoise . . .
underground.

While I was down, (but not out) the counselor and Rose made me promise
that I would also redo the bathrooms and install new fixtures.
(You know how women are, they think if you do not have oval sinks and 
an oblong potty they are . . .  Just deprived)

My wife Rose (going for the jugular), then decided she wanted to move
the bathrooms. Due to several factors I opted to install a new septic tank
and drain field on the same side of the house as my tower. To clearly 
make everybody happy, my new drain field and ground radial move
would be part of the same project. Since the electrical service entrance is
found on that side, I decided to bond the tower ground to the electrical 
service ground. The easiest way to accomplish this was to run a copper 
ground strap in the open ditch, through the septic tank and out across the 
open drain field to the base of the tower. I also installed 120 radials with 
about 60 of them being partly (or totally) in the new drain field.

I can say with pride that my grounding and radial system has been very 
effective. My DX totals on 160 mtrs. expanded last winter by more than
20 stations. However, about April, I started to have problems.
 
I should have known that something was up last winter, when the plumber 
told me I would have to buy  new "water saving environmentally friendly"
toilets. He said a federal law, passed in 1994, required ALL future toilets 
be the new "water saving" type that limits how much water is used for the 
"flush cycle." The plumber said the EPA had "Potty Police" to make sure 
no one adds or replaces any toilet, with other than an approved type.

Before I invested in one of these "liberal privies," I started asking
questions . . .Seems funny things have happened on the way to saving 
the planet. Clearly, much of the time, the new government mandated 
toilets needed two to three flushes to completely clean the bowl. (Taking 
more water than before) Confronted with these statistics, the EPA simply
said the data was "skewed." They said the data was not taking into
account, that more than three to one, toilet "activity," involves
"number one," which only one flush easily clears. Apparently, the EPA  
made their study at Boys Town.
(I might suggest they make an "activity" study (using the liberal toilet )
with the female members of most families and then recalculate the total 
amount of flush water required for, "number 1.")

The EPA also failed to show  the amount of additional flushes required
for the almost weekly chore of unstopping the toilets due to inadequate 
flushing water. I was ready to start a potty rebellion but Rose was 
persistent. "Maybe the new liberal toilet will not be so bad."

Rose was happy with new bathrooms but everything they that told me
about the new EPA toilets were true. After several times, leaving  a pileup 
on the radio to deal with a "pile up" in the bathroom, I was about to
scream.

Then, I got a great idea.  I would modify the sucker and put a Pressure 
pump on it. The pump would  pressurize the flush water and improve the
downward "thrust of the flush," therefore making  less water more 
efficient. Quick searches of army surplus catalogues found a dual 
reversing pump that would work using only one side.  I designed the
system so that the toilet operated normally. If it became clogged, we could
trigger the "Booster pump" with  a  button.  Never again would I have to 
leave one  pileup for another . . .  Know what  I mean?

All went well with the modification but I had to install another vent pipe 
on the roof to the reverse side of the pump to get full pressure. After 
several successful test runs the project was declared finished.

Man-oh man there he was . . . the 8Q..  Maldive Islands . . . long path on 
40 SSB . . . he came back to a 4 .. "QRZ 4s de 8Q7LU.. Up 7.200-210"
Dang . . .  missed him, crank up the Alpha 89 too full legal . . . Just then 
I hear a familiar voice with a familiar problem ,"Jack, the toilet's stopped 
up." "Just push the pump button, Rose," I said as I called the 8Q7LU ..
"Kilo 4 India Bravo Pa..."KABOOM!!! YEEEEA!!!!   ROSE.. ROSE ..
WHAT HAPPENED?  I ran to the sound of the explosion and opened 
the bathroom door . . .Rose was hunkering down next to the close hamper.
"The commode blew up," she said tears streaming down her face. "I...I..
Pushed the button like you said . . . and . . . It..It , just blew up!  I took her 
in my arms just realizing that everything in the bathroom seemed normal.
Rose was frightened but not harmed . . . There was no damage to the
room. The toilet was even clean."Tell me again Rose, what happened . . . 
you pushed the button?"... Just then the phone rang,  Rose seemed ok
so I answered the phone. 

"What . . . Say what . . . When . . . Well . . . O yes, I am sure insurance 
will cover it . . . Oh, you mean MY insurance . . . You're sure it came . . . 
You were siting on your porch, saw the whole thing . . . heard the blast  
and watched the . . . what did you call it, "a blivet"?..Came out of a pipe
on my roof, and hit  your new Coup De Ville . . .  Convertible . . . in 
your driveway . . . right through the rag top and exploded on the dash . . .
No, of course it was not intentional."  Just then, I remembered the 8Q. . .
I handed Rose the phone and said, "try to settle this guy down and . . .
do not flush the toilet until I turn off the Alpha,  I think we got RF 
ground problems" . . .  "8Q7LU.. This is Kilo four India Bravo Papa.. 
Come on baby.. Kilo four India Bravo Papa" . . . Just then it dawned 
on me . . . Had I failed to bond my toilet's  pump ground to the
"common point."? A quick calculation revealed the length of metal  pipe 
between the toilet and the concrete septic tank was approx. . ... 36 feet. 
. . .  hum.

Hope this will be of help to some . . Oh, did I mention... A UPS truck
with a " Rush is right"  bumper sticker just drove up with a 3 lbs box of 
Cuban QSLs....

73, Jack   K4IBP
/exit

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