[TowerTalk] Whistling trap holes

Wed, 13 Aug 1997 15:14:19 -0400

Hi LB ....and the TowerTalk Gang,

Can't thank you enough for the humorous reply. We absolutely need more
of it... as the occasion,  material and good sense (?) permits.  

This one subject has a multitude of humorous implications guaranteed to
send people tumbling to the floor.  

Professor Helfenschmaltz is particularly intrigued by the possibility
of YOUR being able to get your antenna modeling programs to calculate
the proper diameter and spacing of the holes in the trap covers so that
they may be tuned ...not unlike a Pan Pipe.  Then, we can finally
unleash the Zamphir DX Siren model on the waiting world. Such a beam
would be horrendously efficient in attracting DX WITHOUT any power
applied to it whatsoever... working mostly on wind energy.  Long winded
operators WOULD have an advantage!

We could do a survey of all the DX stations to see what particular
melody they are most likely respond to in a pile up.  For example...
would "Thus Spake Zarruthrustra" be any more efficient than say...
"Earth Angel" or the "Seinfeld" theme song?  You could change the pitch
of the melodies by swinging the beam rapidly back and forth.  

As I recall.... there's a kids toy that is like a flexible pipe and
it's swung around one's head to produce a most eerie sound.  Taking the
end caps off our beams and affixing these toy pipes would initiate a
"whole new dimension" in neighborhood appreciation for amateur antennas.

Pardon me while I duck some fruits and veggies that are being lobbed at
me! At least I'm not long winded this time. Be grateful for little
things. That's what I tell my wife anyway!

73

Roger, K2JAS

內躬偕爻,虜,齯滌`偕爻內躬偕爻,虜,齯滌`偕爻齯滌`偕爻,虜,齯滌`偕爻內躬偕爻

At 10:23 AM 8/13/97 +0000, you wrote:
>> 
>> I promised I'd cool it awhile with the humor... but this whistling trap
>> thing has intrigued professor Igore Helfenschmaltz of the Elvis Presley
>> Conservatory of Music and Whistling Trap Phenomena.  He tells me he is
>> quite familiar with the problem and that they are currently
>> investigating a way to get the traps to whistle "Dixie."  On the
>> drawing boards is a DX model that will also whistle "La Marseilles"...
>> of course depending on which way the wind is blowing and ....whether or
>> not you can find True North.
>
>I could not resist helping Roger and professor Helfenschmaltz in their
>efforts to so arrange weep holes in traps so that they played Dixie.  As
>you know, I am located in the South, although not a native southerner.
>However, among my personal aquaintances is Bubba Dumm Box, a local
>entrepreneur who has extensive experience in the creation of gas powered
>auto horns that also play Dixie.  He even knows which way the wind is
>blowing, but finds "True North" a contradiction in terms.  If professor
>Helfenschmaltz will contact Bubba, I am sure a windy exchange will ensue.
>
>Please excuse this foray into the outer limits of trap technology:
>control is now returned to you.
>
>-73-
>
>LB, W4RNL

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