[TowerTalk] <Humor Alert> "Electric Cement"

[Roger L. Elowitz]

Hi Gang,

[The material below has been scanned for sexist comments... and is
guaranteed to be free of any such inferences.]

I'm surprised no one has thought of it earlier.  Professor Helfenschmaltz,
of the Lichtenstein Institute for Creative Antenna Crafts suggested it to
me today over lunch....

Why not use the conductive cement poured into molds so you can cast your
own beams... instantly.  You'd do away with all that annoying rusting
hardware and elements that rotate of their own volition on the boom.  Now,
elements and boom would be ONE PIECE! Think of the fun L.B. will have
modeling these suckers.

That's it! Goodbye Aluminum Polishing!  Antenna manufacturers would now
just supply casting molds and bags of cement for you to roll your own. For
the real challenge... there would be CCQ's.... Cement Cubical Quads!... for
that fun in a gale or ice storm game. 

Of course there will have to be reinforcing rods in the rotatable 80-meter
three element yagi.... but cement cast tapered elements are a cinch.  Yes!
With one mold your club can flood the county with CCA's... conductive
cement antennas. What a stroke of genius!

Next, we will see tower manufacturers selling kits to mold your own tower
sections!  Hey!  This is great! I can just visualize the threads dealing
with the Steve's new software program that calculates the horsepower
ratings needed to turn these brutes and whether stick-shift or fluid drive
transmissions would work best.

There will always be threads on how to aim these antennas and how to find
True North... because no one has really found it yet....according to an
article in the Enquirer that also deals with two-headed babies. Perhaps the
Soujourner robot is looking for True North on Mars as you read this.

We could also start an interesting thread called... "Loading Up Lawn
Ornaments For Fun and Dx." or "Gamma Matching That Drinking Fountain."

Look at all the new words I've found that will soon be banned from the
reflector....

Concrete
Conductive
Molds
Cement
Lawn
Ornament
Gamma
Match
Rusting
Casting
Fountains

Respectfully submitted for your non-sexist amusement, and No!, you can't
have any of what I'm smoking!

Roger, K2JAS

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