[Towertalk] Applicable Laws

[Stu Greene]

Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given
enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place
you would expect to find it. Corollary: It will not be in the last place you
expect to find it.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the
corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. The Salary
Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just
small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be
doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften
when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most consistent repair or
replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location.

Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a
person's name, you will pick the wrong one. Corollary - If there is only one
way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from
the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash
cycle.Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed.
When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

Quile's Consultation Law: The job that pays the most will be offered when
there is no time to deliver the services.

Loftus' Law: Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who
wrote the book or even which book it is.

Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.