[TowerTalk]

[Stu Greene]

Written by a former TowerTalker, K2JAS, and reposted with permission from 
the guy who matters
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Hi Gang,

"You guys are a barrel of laughs"  says the diminutive, Dr. Ruth
Helfenschmaltz of the Liechtenstein Institute for Tower Studies and Assorted
Strange Phenomena.  Dr. Ruth goes on to explain... "All you can think about
is getting it up and keeping it up and whose is bigger than whose.  Recent
research by Kinsey et. al here at the Institute shows that at least 50% of
the "tower users" could care less how big it is.  Keeping it up IS a major
concern... (for economic reasons)... but also for the pleasure of it all...
especially during contests and feats of displaying masculine equipment .

However... it seems to have escaped almost everyone that keeping it up for
extended periods of time... can cause unintended changes to the color of the
base material which leads many tower owners to writhe in pain at the sight.
Packing the tower base in ice may help here. However... the ice and the
consequent little use does result in the crotch of the tower rusting or
"rotting" away.  Crotch rot is not a good thing.

Additionally... it should be noted that 48.6% of the tower users are not as
much concerned with getting it up but rather "how it is used." What good is
the biggest tower if the owner is incapable of the art and skills of
communication? Proper lubrication and attention to the "little things" are
often far more important than size.

Also... many tower users complain that the erection which is only for
display and is little used otherwise.. is a terrible waste.  Just having
one's structure out in public for display purposes is ludicrous and
potentially offensive to some. Indeed, some communities prohibit such
displays... especially in the front yards. However... if you can display it
in private and still use it effectively... no one cares.

And lastly, as I always tell my students... "Always use protection!"
Coatings rich in Zinc go a long way towards preserving the health of your
structures. Drain holes in the wrong places can have horrendous
consequences.  And, lest I forget... it is not necessary to use glow-in-the
dark paint or flashing lights for most structures unless you want to be
thought of as "kinky"... which of course is great fun but should not be
tried by most owners. Also, motors at the base of your towers that cause
them to vibrate should be inspected regularly for corrosion and binding.

Have fun guys.

Roger, K2JAS


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