[Towertalk] Wun-Derr Antenna
Tue, 16 Jul 2002 23:54:55 -0400
PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLICATION
ANNOUNCING: THE WUN-DERR ANTENNA SYSTEM
Wang-Chung Wun, Phd and Herr Professor Doktor Phlim-Fflamm Derr are
announce a revolution in amateur radio antennae:
Pro-Limited-Elite-Platnium-Titanium-Ultra-Extreme XL-5" Amateur Radio
Covers DC thru infrared with a maximum SWR of 1.1 per computer model
Only 3.1416....meters tall. (sounds irrational but it is not)
Can be mounted vertically, horizontally or underground without affecting
performance. Ideal for locations with restrictive zoning.
Handles maximum leagal power on all bands.
"Contestor" option available on special order handles up to 35 MW
3 meter cyrogenic hardline system, sold separately)
No ground or radials required due to exclusive "Kirk" feed system used
under license from Kobiashi-Maru Industries, LTD.
Approved for use by members of the Ohm-Borg Resistance is Futile
Contains no Oh-Zone depleting chemicals.
Antenna completely biodegradable, not made from rain forest woods.
Furthermore, the Wun-Derr antenna is unconditionally warranted to
a direct hit by a low-yield thermonuclear device. If the antenna fails
afterwards, your full purchase price, including shipping will be
The Wun-Derr antenna is a result of pioneering work by Dr. A. Lee Hahn
at the Groom Lake Institute. By combining Element 118, polywater and
fusion, Dr. Hahn discovered what he dubbed "F ractal R egeneration A
U ltra D irectivity." Following his untimely death as the consequence of
neuralizer malfunction, Dr. Hahn's work was continued by Professor Derr
El Universidad de los Bobos in Ciudad de Guano del Toro, Banana Republic.
Herr Docktor professor holds the Barnum chair in Improbable Physics at
El Universidad de los Bobos. He was joined by the esteemed Dr. Wun,
a graduate of the elite Death to Running Yellow Dogs of Capitalism
in Yu-noh Province, China. Following a sabbatical at the Glorious
Revolutionary Gang of Four Re-education Camp #116, he went on to gain a
Phd in Advanced Pseudo-Scientific Obsfucation at the noted Smash the
Bloated Plutocrats of Imperalism Technical Institute.
Together, this team discovered a method of combining wide bandwidth,
extremely high Q (exact figure classified but well in excess of 143,000)
a new super-duper conductor......Zerohmium (tm) which was necessary
to confine the wave pattern regeneration restrictor.
Theory of operation:
The incoming electromagnetic wave is separated into polar and sub-polar
segments by a patented "synchro-spastic inverse phase disgronificator."
The polar segments are then directed to a "Purple-Hayes" uncontrolled
beam hexer where they are mixed at high pressure with anti-gravitons.
sub-polar segments are held for @ 3.97642 femtoseconds in a neural-node
reflux path chamber before being allowed to migrate through a
nanotube gate array matrix to the plate of a cyclotronic accelerator.
delay permits the formation of a micro wormhole within the space-time of
reflux chamber. The resultant is combined in a Jeffries Tube plasma
reactor and reformed as bagel dough. This produce is then heated to 5.6
degrees K where it again becomes electromagnetic energy and passes
an entropy compensator. After compensation, it is directed through a
sequence carbon>argon>lithium>obscurium transformation and energy gain.
Appropriate torus magnetic (erstaz-Tokomak) containment fields are
to control anti-lepton barometric radiation. (FDA, NRC approval pending)
Charmed and strange quark crackers provide up-down polarity
while mu-psion matrices in a kryptonite refracting concentrator convert
remaining cyclomatic prongazoids into left-right polarity. Pre and post
eludium-236 magnetic amplifiers are responsible for aft-fore polarity
Gain over an isotropic source computer modeled at .0017 dB.
This produce endorsed by Dr. Timothy Leery who states:
"I understand completely the operation of this device.
I am the walrus, I am the eggman; pardon me while I
kiss the sky."
Delivery expected during the fifth quarter of 2007.
MSRP $487,895.95 FOB Alexstranya, Leutonian People's Republic
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