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[TowerTalk] Buying equipment on eBay

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Subject: [TowerTalk] Buying equipment on eBay
From: Kevin Hemsley" < (Kevin Hemsley)
Date: Fri, 27 Jul 2001 11:08:03 -0600
For any of you who are looking to buy gear on eBay, here is a guide to
phrases you will find on eBay describing amateur radio equipment, and their
real Translation.

       eBay: This rig puts out a BIG signal.
Translation: It's 50 kHz wide.

       eBay: This is a really good CW rig.
Translation: It doesn't work on SSB.

       eBay: I'd keep this baby, but my wife is making me clean everything
Translation: I finally got around to giving this thing the proverbial

       eBay: This is a really good SSB rig.
Translation: It doesn't work on CW.

       eBay: It comes with  the original box.
Translation: Just brush out the kitty litter.

       eBay: This is a really good rig.
Translation: It doesn't work on CW or SSB.

       eBay: The transmitter is outstanding.
Translation: It doesn't receive.

       eBay: The receiver is really hot.
Translation: It doesn't transmit.

       eBay: This rig is really hot.
Translation: It's stolen.

       eBay: It seems to be a vintage regenerative type.
Translation: It oscillates.

       eBay: I just retubed it.
Translation: Got 'em from questionable used tube stock.

       eBay: I just aligned it.
Translation: The slugs on the transformers are jammed.

       eBay: I don't know if it works.
Translation: It doesn't work, probably never has.

       eBay: It doesn't chirp.
Translation: it doesn't chirp because it doesn't transmit.

       eBay: The audio sounds great.
Translation: The 120Hz buzz is faithfully reproduced.

       eBay: I just had it serviced.
Translation: I sprayed WD-40 over all the wiring.

       eBay: Better "buy it now", cause it won't last.
Translation: No translation needed.

       eBay: It works at full power.
Translation: It sucks all it can from the wall.

       eBay: This rig has wide frequency coverage.
Translation: It drifts up and down and out of band.

       eBay: Frequency stability is great.
Translation: The VFO doesn't work - you'll have to use crystals.

       eBay: Real popular rig in its day.
Translation: There were whole HF nets on the repair and maintenance

       eBay: QST gave this one a really great review.
Translation: The language broke new ground for profanity.

       eBay: It might need a bit of tweaking.
Translation: Marconi himself couldn't fix it, much less align it.

       eBay: It was used in government service.
Translation: It was stored outdoors on a wooden pallet.

       eBay: The dial drive may need lubricating.
Translation: The gears are stripped and the setscrews frozen.

       eBay: I plugged it in to check that it lights up.
Translation: The light came from the two foot high flames.

       eBay: I'm selling it because I have two of them.
Translation: I'm getting rid of my parts radio.

       eBay: You won't find one at a better price.
Translation: Better from the point of view of the seller.

       eBay: This is a collector's item.
Translation: The manufacturer just went belly up and won't honor the

       eBay: It came from an estate sale.
Translation: If you have any problem take it up with the deceased owner.

       eBay: It worked last time I used it.
Translation: if it still worked I'd still be using it.

       eBay: The only lightning damage was a fuse.
Translation: The only lightning damage I recognized was a fuse.

       eBay: I have the _______ somewhere I'll send it to you.
Translation: you'll never see the _______.

       eBay: I'll pay for the shipping.
Translation: I'll do anything to unload this boat anchor.

       eBay: It works ok on 80 meters.
Translation: It had some parasitics but I got in and really messed it up and
now I want to unload it.

       eBay: The tubes used by this rig are worth the asking price.
Translation: The rig uses a rare 7360 beam deflection tube for a balanced
modulator, but it's blown and you'll spend $80 to get a new one.

       eBay: This is the rig of my dreams.
Translation: I really wanted one of these as a kid, but now I've got to let
it go. As I've gotten older, I've learned what a hunka junk it is.

       eBay: The signal quality of this rig was easily recognizable in its
Translation: The high distortion and bad audio quickly identified this rig.

       eBay: This rig will bring back the feelings and atmosphere of vintage
ham gear.
Translation: The bypass capacitors to the AC line put enough voltage on the
chassis to give you a shock in the lips through the microphone, and it
smokes so bad when you turn it on that you'll probably start coughing and

Kevin Hemsley

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