[CQ-Contest] A Wife Strategy for Contesters [aka Contest Ploys for Wives]

py2ny py2ny at arrl.net
Fri Sep 1 21:46:45 EDT 2006

This is amazing! Really unbelievable...
Read together with my wife (PU2VYT)
and we are laughing high and long. hi hi
It's a good piece of marriage therapy!!
Best 73 - Vitor
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jim Idelson" <k1ir at designet.com>
To: "CQ-Contest Post" <cq-contest at contesting.com>
Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 3:04 PM
Subject: [CQ-Contest] A Wife Strategy for Contesters [aka Contest Ploys for 

>A discussion of wives came up on the YCCC reflector early this year - it 
> right around Valentine's Day. Here's the post I made back then . . .
> Ok, Friends. The Doctor is IN. We need to talk about this whole Wife 
> thing.
> You have a Station Strategy. You have an Operating Strategy. To be an 
> effective
> contester, you must also have a Wife Strategy.
> A Wife is the most important person in a contester's life. She has 
> complete
> control over the contester's ability to be competitive. She actually has
> control of both of your critical resources - Money and Time. You know that 
> and
> She knows that.
> So, if you expect to do well you must be treated well by your Wife. How do 
> you
> accomplish that? You must go out of your way to make sure your Wife is 
> Happy.
> All good things flow from having a Happy Wife. To make a Happy Wife, you 
> need
> to understand how a Wife works. A Wife has a limited set of basic needs:
> -  Security
> -  Love
> -  Evidence of above
> There are a few other facts about a Wife that you need to know.
> -  A Wife is very conscious of Her Feelings. She knows when She is Happy 
> and
> when she is Sad.
> -  Only Her Feelings matter. It doesn't matter what she thinks about you, 
> your
> buddies or contesting.
> -  She needs to share Her Feelings with everyone in Her environment. If 
> She is
> Happy, everyone else must be Happy. Same for Sad.
> -  A Wife's Feelings have a half-life of 6-12 hours. [Under certain 
> conditions
> this can be as low as 20 minutes.]
> -  As the Feelings diminish, external stimulus can regenerate them.
> -  Larger amounts of stimulus can generate higher levels of Feelings 
> [let's
> remain focused on Happy Feelings here]. But, remember that the half-life 
> is
> still dominant.
> -  The transition from Happy to Sad is not smooth. Each Wife has a unique
> Feelings Transition Point [FTP]. You will need to perform experiments to
> determine this point for your specific Wife.
> Next concepts to understand:
> -  Secure + Loved = Happy [Happy includes Relaxed, Self-Sufficient, 
> Trusting,
> Empathetic]
> -  Insecure + Not Loved = Sad [Sad includes Stressed, Needy, Suspicious,
> Antagonistic]
> You provide Her with Security and Love. No doubt about that. But, does the 
> way
> you do it match the particular needs of your specific Wife? Have you 
> pushed Her
> Feelings level high enough so that you can get through a contest before 
> She has
> to face Her FTP?
> Practical Techniques - Security
> -  Overtly state that you are there for your Wife and Kids
> -  Make and keep family commitments
> -  Assure your Wife that you will spend time with Her at a specific date 
> and
> time
> -  Demonstrate your commitment to Her security - fix something in the 
> house,
> buy furniture
> Practical Techniques - Love
> -  Overtly declare your love for your Wife [ok if done privately with Her;
> creates even higher level of Happy Feelings if done in front of others]
> -  Romantic gifts are effective - flowers, cards, photographs, jewelry. 
> Note
> that item cost does not have a dramatic impact.
> -  S*x - [Be careful with this one during the contest, particularly in 
> multi's]
> Practical Techniques - Timing and Frequency
> -  Bear in mind that effects of simultaneous actions do not tend to be
> additive.
> -  Sequential actions tend to be cummulative.
> -  Spread it out.
> -  Ramp up in the week prior to the contest.
> -  A major push on Thursday night is usually a good tactic, followed by 
> actions
> timed at 3-4 hour intervals right up to the start of the contest.
> -  Set and meet expectations in the days following the contest.
> Advanced Tip #1
> -  Anticipate the possiblity that FTP may still occur during the contest
> period. What can you do?
> -  Take action during the contest. Invest in a momentary Security or Love 
> Boost
> during a low-rate hour.
> -  This investment can be very powerful. She knows you prefer to be in 
> front of
> the radio. When you come upstairs for as little as one minute just to say 
> you
> Love Her, Her Happy Feelings level will soar [temporarily]. But you have
> potentially fended off a major onslaught, just by helping Her stay 
> comfortably
> above FTP.
> Advanced Tip #2
> -  Understand that regularity is not always the best state of affairs.
> -  A temporary absence may help reinforce the value of your presence.
> -  Occassional smaller gifts may help reinforce the value of your 
> presents.
> -  Be careful. Always try to stay above FTP; experiment with this concept
> judiciously.
> Advanced Tips #3A and #3B
> -  Remember that the Kids are simply an extension of the Wife.
> -  A - Focus on the Wife and She will take care of the Kids.
> -  B - Focusing on the Kids directly impacts Wife Happy levels. A good
> 'under-the-radar' strategy.
> Advanced Tip #4
> -  Surprise Her sometimes
> -  Planned and expected actions that make Her feel Secure and Loved are 
> great,
> but the same actions done spontaneously or unexpectedly have higher 
> impact.
> -  For several weeks, She has been asking you to repair the leaky kitchen
> faucet. You have choices: a) next time She asks, you say ok and do it, b) 
> when
> She is out, you take three hours to fix it and She is pleasantly surprised 
> when
> She discovers what you've done, or c) when She is out, you have a plumber 
> fix
> it while you build a new amplifier, and when She discovers the repair She 
> is
> pleasantly surprised AND She compliments you on the superb quality of your
> work.
> Summary
> -  Your Wife is critical to your contesting efforts
> -  Adopt a Wife Strategy
> -  Understand the interplay of Security and Love with Happy and Sad
> -  Be aware of your Wife's FTP
> -  Apply a variety of techniques
> -  Keep it up year-round
> -  Submit better contest scores
> -  Apply beyond contesting
> ********** END WIFE STRATEGY FOR CONTESTERS **********
> 73,
> Jim Idelson K1IR
> email    k1ir at designet.com
> web    http://www.k1ir.com
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