[CQ-Contest] The Chosen
Alan M. Eshleman
doctore at well.com
Sat Dec 19 22:58:33 EST 2015
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike Reublin NF4L" <nf4l at comcast.net>
To: "HH Brakob" <hbrakob at gmail.com>
Cc: "CQ Contest" <cq-contest at contesting.com>
Sent: Saturday, December 19, 2015 6:17:31 PM
Subject: Re: [CQ-Contest] The Chosen
73, Mike NF4L
> On Dec 19, 2015, at 10:59 AM, HH Brakob <hbrakob at gmail.com> wrote:
> Please Copy
> The Wise Ones live in the depths of the D, E, and F-Layers, and in the
> servers at Contesting.com. They are the descendants of the Gods. I
> personally subscribe to the theory they are the children of Thor
> Heyerdahl, the Viking god of Thunder and Balsawood Raft Dxpeditions. But
> that's another story.
> The Wise Ones criticize everything that happens on the air and on this
> list, but they can't police every pileup or every reflector by themselves,
> so every morning, just before daylight over Katmandu, the Wise Ones select
> the "Mostest Intellegentest Contesters" in their layer and convey upon him the
> title INFLICTOR OF HIGHER MORAL HARANGUES. This title and its duties last
> until the following dawn on Bouvet, if someone is there to observe the
> sunrise. Otherwise your duties end when Riley Hollingsworth gets tired of
> your crap and sends his lawyers with a gag order.
> If you are ever chosen you will know because a representative of the Wise
> Ones will anoint your temples with oil from a forty year old bottle of Dr.
> Guano, collected on Ocean Island by VR1L in 1963. For that day you will be
> known as The Chosen. Your duties will be to seek out those that don't do
> things the way you do them (in other words, the right way.) When you find
> them, it will be your duty to correct them.
> Think about it...too wide, too weak, too slow, too fast, what's your call
> dammit, wrong VFO, rotten fist, poor pileup control, wrong band, wrong
> zone, do not "please copy", wrong lingo, not enough green stamps,
> you're in the DX window, no-coders not allowed, coders suck, .... They're
> all yours.
> When you find these wayward ones, you will lumber onto their frequency, oronto their reflector thread, stand up in your operating chair and shout, I
> AM A BETTER CONTESTER THAN YOU, SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
> You will now have the wayward one's undivided attention. He will
> think about this very briefly, then yield to your superior intellect and contesting
> skill. He will be very receptive to your thoughts and point of view.
> Lecture him and proceed to the next wrongdoer.
> Now for the sad part of this tale. There are pretenders and charlatans out
> there who try to usurp the rightful powers of The Chosen. To you
> villainous few, I say beware. The Wise Ones also created BAWA (Baddest Ass
> Whats Around). No matter how bad you are, BAWA has the ability to be
> badder. You will know when you start your lecture and Bawa yells back,
> "You're a jerk, but I'm a bigger one. LET'S ESCALATE".
> And you will have no choice.
> But soon BAWA will tire of you and sink your little balsa boat. As you slip
> under the surface you will yell, "BUT I WAS RIGHT, DAMMIT" and you will
> once again prove the ancient mariners axiom -- AN OPEN MOUTH TAKES
> ON WATER.
> dit dit
> de Hans, K0HB
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