[CQ-Contest] Violets Smelling Contest

[Yuri Blanarovich]

  Amateur Radio has profound effect on life outside of ham radio. Based 
on inventions and progress made in ham radio DXing and contesting, lives 
of ordinary citizens just became less stressing, divorce rates dropped 
almost to zero, people are happier, no crime, no illegal immigration.
 
It is all thanks to VSC - Violet Smelling Contest recently announced by 
UN.
Based on recent developments and enhancements in ham radio contesting:
 
1. Internet Ham Service - where hams are relieved of boring and tedious 
search for NEW ones, by simply joining the various services feeding the 
call signs and frequencies to ham gladiators and allowing them to 
clikaroo - just click on the ONE you need or want, radio is tuned on, 
call is made and voila, NEW one is nailed and put in your DX or 
multiplier bag. Further automation of operating ham station is allowing 
to free the operator from tedious build/search/find/call/work/log 
operation making contesting much more enjoyable. Like shooting animals 
in the ZOO or fishing in the aquarium? This is for you! 
 
2. RentaStation - where hams do not even need to have station, no need 
for ugly towers and antennas, no need for thousands of dollars invested 
in equipment, no need to live in rare country. All you need is notebook 
computer, internet connection and pair of slippers. You can be contest 
gladiator by just renting the access to somebody else's station. All you 
need is to buy the call sign and you can pretend to be anybody you can 
afford to buy the access to. Shopping list of RentaStations is growing 
and offering exciting opportunities to pretend to be RARE one with 
BIIIIIG signal just from small laptop and no antennas.
 
3. Very soon you will not even need to bother with operating, 
ContestRobots are being tested. Capability of operating on multiple 
frequencies at the same time, on all bands will annihilate human 
operators and will win all the trophies - all while you are just 
checking progress on your smartphone, working on your tan on the beach. 
 
Gone are the days when Ham Radio Contesting required to have license 
issued to a person to allow to operate/transmit and build the station, 
acquire skills to operate, learn about propagation and keep your butt in 
a chair for hours. The Luddites are saying it used to be fun. Now there 
is more fun and pleasure for not operating and the rest of the world is 
learning and adjusting.
 
Social justice and well being department of UN just came up with contest 
for regular, non ham mortals:
Violets Smelling Contest!
All one needs to participate is to have gas mask. The winner will be 
announced at the next plenary session of UN. The objective of the 
contest is to smell maximum number of violets while wearing the gas 
mask. No Internet is allowed. Just pleasure and fun of smelling the 
violets through the gas mask. No need to be overwhelmed by the smell of 
violets, just enjoy the smelling through the rented remote mask.
 
Rumor is that UN is working on sponsoring the contest for Sex Robots, 
that are to relieve the population from the drudgery of having sex, no 
need for wives, partners, hoookers, let the robots do the "contesting". 
Number of ham radio pioneers are being hired by UN to organize the wave 
of fun for growing restless population. Nobel prizes for ham pioneers 
behind the liberating technologies are being readied and will be awarded 
at the next Dayton Haminvention.
Very soon you will be able to do everything just with your smartass cell 
phone, while at the beach, or just using beach pictures as phone's 
background while having fun winning.
I am taking list for next one.
 
73 de Yurko da BUm