[SEDXC] Greetings from JT

[John Tobias Croteau]

Wow, I am still getting a lot of flak from several people over
something that should be just be between Chaz and I.  However, I
understand that, for the most part, the club is like one big family
and when you disrespect one you disrespect all.  For those who don't
know, last year I borrowed an old Icom rig from Chaz so I could get
back on the air after a lightning strike destroyed my Paragon.  I
still have it and should have returned it a long time ago.  I should
have definitely returned it before I moved away at the beginning of
the year.  I never intentionally tried to take advantage of Chaz's
generosity nor "steal" from him like I've been accused of by one
member.   Several people want an explanation as to why I still have
the rig even though Chaz is the only person I owe any explanation to.
I have taken care of things privately with Chaz.  However, I have
always been an open and direct person and if  ya'll want the gory
details like some of you are demanding, here it is.  I will gladly
change places with anyone, no one wants to be in the world I was in at
the end of the year last year.

On the afternoon of Jan. 10th, something snapped in my head and I
walked into the Canton police department and told them I had sexually
assaulted my girlfriends 13 year old  daughter.  I never did but I had
convinced myself in my mind that I had and I also tried to kill myself
while in their custody.  It was also the third time in 10 months I had
been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or an attempt.  Once they
confirmed that I in fact had committed no crime and was not mentally
well, I was hospitalized for most of the remainder of the month.
While hospitalized, my girlfriend told me that I could not return
home, she was understandably devastated by all this, and that I would
need a police escort to collect my stuff.  Luckily my parents agreed
to take me in but, the day I was released, I had literally only hours
to pack up my car and hit the road.  I should have left the radio
there and figured out some way for Chaz to get it from my girlfriend
but honestly, under the circumstances, I really wasn't thinking right
and was under a lot of stress.

Once I made it here, I was able to get diagnosed properly and obtain
proper treatment.  Things are now going well and I am finally getting
medical assistance from the state and social security starts next
month. I have had NO income since the beginning of the year.  I should
also be able to return to work by the end of the year.  I will be
returning Chaz's radio as agreed, but I need about $50 in packing
materials and UPS fees to do so properly.  Once I get my first check,
it will finally be on the way to Chaz.

I am sincerely sorry for all of this and never intentionally meant for
any of this to happen. At no time did I ever mean any disrespect to,
or tried to cheat, any club member and sincerely apologize to those
who feel otherwise.

Finally, to those of you criticizing me for getting a TS-480 before
taking care of other responsibilities, such as my commitment to Chaz,
the rig is going to be a gift from my family.  My therapist also
thinks it is a good idea for me to get back on the air as it is one of
the only hobbies I actually enjoy.

-- 
JT Croteau, N1ESE - Manchester, NH